Gross.

Sveta (after having pooped); it's an elephant one! Or a tadpole one!!

Kleenex.

They're sick. Blech.

Puppy girl.

Lana: You was just walking to my hand foot!

All star.

Lana: These are my dog foots!!

Zoo

Sveta (hands lacquered in popcicle and looking at the giant fountain at the zoo): Maybe I van put my hands in there??

Lator gator

Lana: Look! A picture of an alligator!

Potty time.

Me: What's he doing?
Lana: trying to open the door!
Me: why's he doing that?
Lana: the elephant have to go potty!

Boozers.

Sveta: let's see a wino!!

(ok so maybe she meant rhino but the letter R is a challenge so it sounds like a W.)

Yum!

Lana (with furrowed brow); I'm not food! I talked about that yesterday!!

Noodle necklaces.

Lana: No, Sveta, those are not for eating!!

Paris.

Lana: My animals are in Paris. Paris means when you do something lightly.

Sharks or men. Either way.

Me: sveta, do you like the sharks?
Sveta: I want a maaannn to come!

Ant beans

Lana: The ants were walking on us because they have dirty legs on them!!

(this is seeming a bit like the Lana Show these days...)

Those are black beans and the girls are pretending that they're ants.

Earf day.

Lana: Uhhhhh......no. we're not celebrating nature today...we're celebrating toys and things and presents!

Grass are nature! But not wet. And something is a bug. I'm lookin for bugs.

My neck.

Lana was pushing a baby in a swing and he touched her neck...
Lana: my neck! No baby, you're not supposed to do that to my neck.

Frere jaques? Brother John?

Sung to the tune of frere jaques...

Kid at park: silly doorknob, silly doorknob, I got youuu, I got youu! Little silly doorknob, little silly doorknob, I got youuu, I got youuu.

Love glutton.

Me: ...love you Lana.
Lana: (silence)
Me: Lana, what do you say when someone says 'i love you'?
Lana: May I please have some more??

There's no we in team.

Lana: my name is team!

More??

Lana: I can be a princess cow! I can be a dolphin.

In a burning cartoon building

Lana: Now she have smoke in her breaf!

Lana is not a sandwich.

Lana: Seehow I am? I have a head and a body and shoes. And my dress and my knees and andd my tummy and I have my coat and that's why I'm a girl. I'm not a tomato either.
I'm Lana, and I have a head and I don't have any spots on me and I have tushy.
And I can do anything I want! I can make something! And I can I dance and reach up and I can sing!
I can be anything I want! I can be a cow, or an animal!

It's a giraffe for sure.

Lana: No! It's a dragon!
Sveta: It looks like a giraffe....
Lana: Noooo! It's a dragon with spots on it.

Babies

Me: What do tadpoles turn into?
Lana: Butterflies!!

Cute.

Lana: ....but I want to be both!! Awesome annndd good-looking!

Trust fall.

Sveta climbed up onto the potty without using the little kid seat and I said...

Me: Sveta, would you like to use the seat?

And she looked at me kindly while shaking her head and said..

Sveta: I not going to fell.

The tire swing.

Sveta is too short to climb in. Here's how much too short...













Ultimately, this ended in defeat. Until she came back 5 minutes later. And failed again.

Comments...

This is a mix of comments from mostly Lana today. She's clearly lost it haha


Lana (to her giraffe): I wanted to smoke you but I will not. You have to be tied up because you were bad!..........you wants to be my friend? You want me to smoke you? Yes, he wanted to smoke me.
Sveta: You can't smoke PandaBear and Horsie, righhtt???
Sveta: I see you is tied up, what seems the problem?
Lana: They have to be tied up.
Sveta: Yes you do, you was bad.
Lana: You have to not smoke everyone because they're going to get all smokey!

Lana: what's your shirt say?
Me: "hug a tree"
Lana: Why are you always hugging trees???

Lana: That truck have lemonade in he's body!!

Lana: Lion and dandelion rhyme! Just like boot and meat!!

Ladybug

Lana: Where is him??!
Sveta: I think he in my paannts. The ladybug is in my pants!!

Martha

While watching a show about a talking dog...

Lana: I'm a talking girl!

Oy vey.

Lana hit Elena in te head with a stick so I made her have a timeout and she looked at me and whined...
"But but what about playing at the playground??!"
And then she tried to kick another kid. Woohoo.

Babies

Me: Do girls come from eggs?
Lana: well..................yes!! When I was an animal. And then I was a bug and I came out of an egg and then I was a girl!!

Chasing

Kid at park: Hey Mr. Jail!!

Beauty is a beast.

Lana: Beautiful is part of being nice. Being beautiful means being nice. I wanna wear a dress to be beautiful.

We can't fly.

Lana: No, we can't fly because we don't have any pixie dust! .....we need to get some pixie dust!!

Cabs

Lana: I love black! Black is my favorite color! (to the African American cab driver of a cab with a black interior)
I'm Lana! This is my skin!!

In a taxi..

Lana: This car is amazzingg!!!
Sveta: I need some music so I can dance!

Lana hurt her elbow.

Lana: My owie doesn't talk.

Panties at Office Depot

Sveta: Where daddy? He in the store to buy panties?? He going to buy diapers for a baby??
Me: Who's the baby?
Sveta: Not Lana...not Sveta...not Emily...pretend baby!!

Wet wet world.

It's raining. We all have cabin fever. What better way to escape from the boredom than to suit up the girls and encourage them to jump in puddles??








Look! She can levitate!

Then I chucked them in the tub to soak the street filth off of them. There were actual pieces of nature drifting around in the tub.

Dead peeps.

(I know these are upside down.)

We had a jello picnic today with my secret recipe for bloodied dead peeps!

Before...



After...




Gross.

Adorable.

Look! Lana's Mickey Mouse!

Princess Belle

Lana: Look everyone! She is amazing. Now we have to give her a party!!

(communicating)

Lana: I think the dog is mudicating!!

In the yard

Lana: I found something and it spells the pet of the carrot!

I'm annoying.

I told sveta to say "ready or not here I come!!" after counting in hide and seek and she said..
Sveta: "I already said that!"
Me: "really?"
Sveta: " yeah! I don't want to say it over and over and over again!"

Twisting thing at the park.

Lana: and I might fall and hit my head! And that would be awful! And I might have to go to the doctor!
Sveta: and you might be get a shot!
Lana: Yes, Sveta, that's right. I might be get a shot.

Dancing

Lana: when you move your body like (wiggled hips) it's called the...swoot! You gotta do the swoot!

She found a button.

HoldIng the button up as evidence..
Lana: oh no!! Someone's pants broked!!

Park friends

Lana:...and then I'm gonna be my own friend!!
And then after the playground friends left she said...
"I miss them very much."
They were 20 ft. away.

And later on...

Me: Wow! Look at that arm!
Lana: hmm. I don't want to have owies so much.

(Lana is a constant hazard to herself. She takes the idea of face-planting to a new level)

Ballsy.

Lana tripped on the front (cement) stairs and slid down three of them on her stomach and scraped her elbow open and she exclaimed, "oh no!!" when she slipped, no tears, no crying, no yelling, whining, or anything. So I scooped her up to bring her in to wash her elbow up and set her down in the house where she examines her arm only to decide, "We need to take a picture of it." So we did (look below) and then we went and she let me wash it without fusssing at all and then asked if we could go back outside! She informed me on out way out that she would hold the railing very tightly.


She is one tough f'ing broad.

Mad hops

Sveta in the air!

With a carrot in hand...

Sveta: I is not more kids.